How to Help a Child Having a Meltdown at School

According to understood.org educators and parents need to be able to recognize and respond differently to tantrums vs. meltdowns. You can get an expanded version of the chart above for free at lemonlimeadventures.com

• Tantrums happen when a child is trying to get something he wants or needs.

• Meltdowns occur when a child feels overwhelmed by his feelings or surroundings.

• Knowing the difference between tantrums and meltdowns can help you manage these outbursts.
• I discourage teachers from bringing me students who are having temper tantrums; however, sometimes I will help calm a child who is having a sensory meltdown because meltdowns last longer and can be shortened more easily in a less sensory stimulating environment. I help mostly with students who I know very well and have usually in small groups or see for individual check ins.  It is very helpful if you know a child well because you are familiar with what strategies generally work and if there is already a specific plan in place.  This is one reason I like my office to be a calming environment and now showcase bright colors or too many "decorations". I have my ceiling lights covered with blue filters and have a small lamp on my desk. 
• Frequently when a chid is brought to me upset I will tell them I am going to turn off some of the lights and would like then to sit on a chair backwards facing my blank wall of brown cabinets. That way they can give themselves some pressure using the back of the chair. When a child comes to me who is very "dysregulated" and needs calming I first remind myself to stay calm and speak quietly. I choose my words carefully to encourage the child to resume control and let the child know I am available to help. For example, "You are having a tough time lets figure this out together." I try to get them to label their feeling and tell me how strong it is (scale 1-5 or 1-10 depending on age). I offer suggestions of what has helped other children like slow deep breaths (even suggesting ones we have done in classroom or group), stretching, etcetera. 
• Once the child is regaining control I ask, "what do you need to do to be ready to return to class." It could be as simple as go get a drink of water, splash face with water in bathroom, or play a game for 5 minutes as a distraction. Many children will want to go home after a meltdown but we rarely allow that because they need to see they can get upset and still stay in school. Sometimes they may need to sit by themselves for a brief time when they return to class until they have more composure and control. If necessary I will stay in the room for 5 minutes especially if the room is noisy when I try to help the child reenter.