Last year I wrote an article for ASCA "Address Student Anxiety" it provides lots of details about how to help https://www.schoolcounselor.org/address-student-anxiety It discusses how to work with parents, staff, and students in the school environment.
One of the most useful books for counselors on this topic is Working with Parents of Anxious Children: Therapeutic Strategies for Encouraging Communication, Coping, & Change. The author, Christopher McCurry, outlines the behaviors and symptoms to look for in children with anxiety disorders, and offers a guide for clinicians who work with their families.
When working with children who are reluctant to come to school I try to make a deal with the families, you get them in the building and I will keep them here. Many parents have told me how much they appreciated knowing that if they hung tough and got their child in the door I would work out a plan to make them feel safe inside.
If you have been a counselor very long you have probably had a child brought to you after the bell crying and clinging to a parent. Once you can get the parent to leave the building then you need to start your work with the child with the goal to get them in their classroom ASAP. I generally start by saying, "I am here with you and you are safe." Often I begin by acknowledging that right now their body does not feel OK. This begins the psycho-education of teaching them common body responses to anxiety and normalizing what they are feeling but correcting the misconception that they are "sick". Next I address their emotions and generally have them scale their unpleasant feelings. I have many scales readily available in my office from simple color coded and 1-5 scales for the young ones to 1-10 with a range of emotion vocabulary for older students. Finally their distorted thinking needs to be addressed. I acknowledge that they are telling themselves they are not safe in school (away from parent) but in reality they know they are - it is just their "worry brain" sending a false alarm. Once the student begins to calm down I try to get them to walk with me to class.
I find small groups to be the most effective place to teach skills to students who need help with emotion regulation. I cannot possibly provide individual counseling to all my students with anxiety issues. I offer groups for students who need to develop coping tools to students in grade 1-5 using both CBT and Mindfulness. I typically start my first round of groups in late September or early October which means the first few weeks of school I am probably doing more individual counseling than any other month. Students with anxiety issues are my number one referral reason and this is typical for most school counselors from both elementary and secondary levels according to surveys conducted by ASCA.
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