New Author

I just found this new author, Shannon Anderson, a primary teacher that understands kid challenges. These two books are perfect to lead a session with a child whose perfectionism is getting in the way or that child who is checked out because school is boring. Both books include an activity guide and tips and information to share with teachers and parents. They are both written at a second grade reading level and published by Free Spirit Publishing.

How to Help a Child Having a Meltdown at School

According to understood.org educators and parents need to be able to recognize and respond differently to tantrums vs. meltdowns. You can get an expanded version of the chart above for free at lemonlimeadventures.com

• Tantrums happen when a child is trying to get something he wants or needs.

• Meltdowns occur when a child feels overwhelmed by his feelings or surroundings.

• Knowing the difference between tantrums and meltdowns can help you manage these outbursts.
• I discourage teachers from bringing me students who are having temper tantrums; however, sometimes I will help calm a child who is having a sensory meltdown because meltdowns last longer and can be shortened more easily in a less sensory stimulating environment. I help mostly with students who I know very well and have usually in small groups or see for individual check ins.  It is very helpful if you know a child well because you are familiar with what strategies generally work and if there is already a specific plan in place.  This is one reason I like my office to be a calming environment and now showcase bright colors or too many "decorations". I have my ceiling lights covered with blue filters and have a small lamp on my desk. 
• Frequently when a chid is brought to me upset I will tell them I am going to turn off some of the lights and would like then to sit on a chair backwards facing my blank wall of brown cabinets. That way they can give themselves some pressure using the back of the chair. When a child comes to me who is very "dysregulated" and needs calming I first remind myself to stay calm and speak quietly. I choose my words carefully to encourage the child to resume control and let the child know I am available to help. For example, "You are having a tough time lets figure this out together." I try to get them to label their feeling and tell me how strong it is (scale 1-5 or 1-10 depending on age). I offer suggestions of what has helped other children like slow deep breaths (even suggesting ones we have done in classroom or group), stretching, etcetera. 
• Once the child is regaining control I ask, "what do you need to do to be ready to return to class." It could be as simple as go get a drink of water, splash face with water in bathroom, or play a game for 5 minutes as a distraction. Many children will want to go home after a meltdown but we rarely allow that because they need to see they can get upset and still stay in school. Sometimes they may need to sit by themselves for a brief time when they return to class until they have more composure and control. If necessary I will stay in the room for 5 minutes especially if the room is noisy when I try to help the child reenter.

Lost at School

Lost at School by Ross Greene was revised in 2014. It offers so many practical ideas that help educators and parents address children with a variety of behavioral challenges. The real-life scenarios help the reader realize that often the adults totally miss the antecedents of negative behavior. I know our school like many do a Functional Behavioral Assessment (FBA) but I totally agree with the author that many times there is a bias lens when these are done that suggest the child is manipulating the environment. The author has practical tools "Assessment of Lagging Skills and Unsolved Problems." I like how the author explains how to consult with teachers and the student to find solutions to problems. I recommend it to any counselor who has challenging students who are not responding to what has already been tried at school. By the way, the author does not let school personnel get away with blaming parents!

New Julia Cook Release Baditude!

I have seen Julia Cook present five times (if you have not had the pleasure find an opportunity to do so) and spoken to her several times in person. I am sure all elementary counselors are very appreciative of her books that show she really "gets" the challenges kids referred to us face.  This new book, Baditude!, is perfect to help students realize it is not the situation but their thinking about the situation that cause the unpleasant emotions and what they can do to change. It is part of the Responsible Me series - check out the other books here http://www.responsible-me

Literature Based Bullying Prevention Program

Our school uses a literature based bullying prevention program from K-grade 5. These are the books I will be reading in my lesson at the younger grades to address the theme of bullying behavior in October - Bullying Prevention Month. In grades 3-5 the teachers read the books that are part of the Steps to Respect (Classroom Curriculum Kits). The entire school uses the Steps to Respect definition of bullying and uses Safe, Caring, and Respectful behavior expectations. All students are taught an assertive response is usually the best way to handle challenging behavior and to be positive, helpful bystanders or upstanders - not provide an audience or join in. All staff receives annual training on how to respond to disrespectful behavior and what to do if the reported behavior is bullying. Our state requires schools to use a research-based program to address bullying. We have been doing this for 8 years and we evaluate it every June. We have swapped out some of the books over the years as new ones are published that send clear messages about both prosocial and bullying behavior. We use an online Bullying Report Form that you can see on the Counseling page of our school's website.http://www.apsva.us/

Be the 3

Each year I participate in our school safety assemblies where the administrators, PE staff, and counselor(s) talk to each grade level (2-5) about rules, expectations of behavior, and consequences of not meeting expectations. All our school rules are organized around the terms safe, caring, and respectful: classroom, hallway, cafeteria, playground, and bus. I decided to use the theme "Be the 3" this year with the students and ask my wonderful volunteer to make me some posters to use as a visual for the assembly and then serve as a reminder on their grade level hallways. Since we teach Spanish 3 days a week, one hand has the words written in Spanish. I think the poster is attractive and kid friendly and the 3 finger visual is a good reminder.  Anytime a staff member has to talk to a student about behavior, they can just hold up 3 fingers and ask, "I need you to make a choice that is safe, caring, and respectful!"