Back-to-School Tips for School Counselors

If this is your first year in a new school the priority should be building relationships with staff, students, and families. Attend ALL Back to School functions and introduce yourself. Don't be afraid to go into teachers rooms while they are setting up and chat for 5 minutes to find common ground. I would especially focus on other new staff because you automatically have something in common with other newbies. If you are not overwhelmed, plan a coffee in your office the first Friday students are back. Teachers love to be fed and it is good to have them see you in your office.  I hope your district provides you a mentor, if not ask your state SCA if they have a mentoring program. There are even mentoring programs available online via Facebook groups.

Returning counselors have a lot to do the first month of the school year. Here are 10 places to focus your time based on the newly revised ASCA National Model as you settle in to a new school year.

1)  Review school data including any data you collected on the school counseling program last year. Determine if you should conduct a needs assessment. Remember student needs are the most important in building a data driven school counseling program. Based on the data draft 3 annual student outcome goals (formerly called program goals). Plan to use one of these for your evaluation if required by your district.

2)  Meet with administrator(s) for annual administrative conference (formerly called annual agreement). Use the template provided by ASCA to guide the discussion. Come to an understanding of planned use of time and how often you will collect this data (I always did a week each semester).

3)  Set up the school counseling program Annual Calendar and Weekly Calendar. It is important to clarify with classroom teachers how you will be scheduling lessons taught by counselor. It is also important that you build a slot in your schedule to record and analyze data.  I always saved the last hour on Friday for this task (30 minutes when students were still present and the 30 minutes we were required to stay after dismissal). 

4)  Organize your office. Make it a space that is welcoming for students and meets your own needs (keep a stock of healthy protein bars and snacks for days when you really don't have time for lunch).

5)  Plan your core curriculum based on the ASCA Mindsets and Behaviors. Consider using the ASCA action plan. If possible use evidence based programs and practices. Don't forget to plan to evaluate what you teach.

6)  Plan small groups. You may just want to plan the first round, especially if you are going to conduct a needs assessment.  The sooner you can get groups started, the more you can do in a year. I have found that most groups need to run for 8 sessions unless you have the luxury to conduct groups that last more than 25-30 minutes, then 6 may be sufficient. Again plan for evaluation as you plan your groups!

7)  Talk to staff about referrals for counseling, how to handle students comments about self harm & threats to others, and bullying reports. I always did this during preservice week and sought out any staff person that was not in the session (due to conflict) individually or a small group follow-up if I missed more than a few.  This needs to be done annually!

8)  Determine who will be on your Advisory Council and set the dates for the meetings. It is best if the first meeting is within the first month of school so they can have input on your draft student outcome goals.  I personally planned quarterly meetings of the Advisory Council and found 4 shorter meetings to be more valuable and members had a sense of being part of the program, rather than the minimum 2 meetings ASCA requires (for RAMP).

9)  Plan how you will brand and market the school counseling program to all stakeholders.  We had a logo that appeared on everything generated by our program. We used it on the school website, blog, brochures, handouts for classroom lessons, etc. Our school wanted to go green so we used Twitter a lot to show what we were teaching, reminders of calendar events, and good articles for staff and parents to read. We planned quarterly workshops for parents and always offered to send the materials home to parents who could not attend.

10) This is not a job you can do alone. Make contact and build relationships with many other educators, student support staff, district counselors, community mental health providers, etc. Collaboration is key for a successful program and a must for crisis response.  Yes planning for crisis needs to occur annually and key players need to meet face-to-face.

One final tip is plan for your own self-care. Try to establish a work-home life balance. Remember the beginning of the school year is one of the most stressful times, so make yourself practice good sleep hygiene. Make time to get outside and enjoy nature. I frequently would just walk around the block at my school for a brain break before returning to my long to do list. Surround yourself with positive people and limit your exposure to whiners and other negative folks. Have a great school year!

Look for the helpers

My heart goes out to the school personnel in Florida dealing with the aftermath of another violent and deadly act on school grounds. I am sure it is also a trigger for those folks that have survived previous similar incidents. As school counselors we want to help students feel safe at school. This is becoming more difficult in our country. The incident yesterday popped up on the cell phones of our upper elementary age children. With technology so widespread more and more young people are being exposed to graphic coverage filmed by people in the building during these attacks. The only thing I can think to say is to my students is that is why we have drills that save may lives and we have well trained first responders. Is it any wonder anxiety rates are rising among our population! 

September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month

September is National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month—a time to share resources and stories in an effort to shed light on this highly taboo and stigmatized topic. We use this month to reach out to those affected by suicide, raise awareness and connect individuals with suicidal ideation to treatment services. It is also important to ensure that individuals, friends and families have access to the resources they need to discuss suicide prevention. nami/Suicide-Prevention-Awareness-Month

While the number of deaths by suicide in younger children is statistically small, the number of attempts in students ages 10 to 14 has increased dramatically over the last few years, especially for girls. And even if they haven’t made an attempt, there are children in every school who are thinking about suicide sptsusa.org/elementary-school  We need to think about suicide as an attempt to solve a problem of intense emotional pain with impaired skills. As counselors we need to have productive way to have a conversation about suicide with any aged student. Never assume just because a person is young that they will not attempt suicide. If a student is talking about wanting to die to a risk assessment and consult with another mental health provider. ALWAYS notify parents and document the notification even if you don't believe there is an imminent threat. Continue to take threats seriously: Follow through is important even after the child calms down or informs you or the parent "they didn't mean it." Avoid assuming behavior is simply attention seeking (but at the same time avoid reinforcing suicide threats; e.g., by allowing the student who has threatened suicide to avoid or get something to make them feel better).

Suicide is the tenth leading cause of death overall so many children and families are impacted by suicide. Using "suicide death" or" death by suicide" is more helpful than saying "successful suicide" or "committed suicide." Often times family members will not tell the child that it was a suicide death. I don't think this is helpful and further adds to the stigma and shame. People bereaved by suicide often experience complicated bereavement. There can be many other feelings in addition to grief including shock, social isolation, anger and guilt. The often sudden and sometimes unexpected nature of the death can also be extremely traumatic for those who lived with or knew the person. 

There are more resources at save.org/ but these are geared toward older students. Suicide prevention programs are becoming more common in secondary schools because of the increasing number of suicide attempts. I am not aware of any aimed at elementary learners. However, it is important to get information in the hands of staff and parents about the warning signs of suicide and always #BeThe1ToAsk. That is basic mental health first aide.  

Miguel A Deportation Story

Many families across our country are living under a cloud of possible deportation. There are more than 9 million U.S. children whose parents are undocumented immigrants, the majority from Mexico and Latin America. Half of these children, or about 4.5 million, are U.S. citizens — born to undocumented immigrant parents on American soil. Citizen-children and their undocumented siblings frequently live in homes in which one or both parents are undocumented immigrants.  Read more about research on living under the threat of deportation  http://www.apa.org/

This book is told from the perspective of an eight year old boy who was born in the U.S. but his parents are not in the United States legally and may have to go back to their unsafe home country. Miguel opens up about his fears to his school counselor and takes a proactive approach to his family's and others situation. This is a timely book that tires to take a optimistic attitude about a concern that is very widespread in our country today. Get this 2017 resource from youthlight.com

Suicide Prevention Resource

"Tell Me More"

Tell me more... are 3 hard words to say but extremely important in assessing a student who has talked about committing suicide. Check out all the valuable resources at www.sptsusa.org

National Suicide Prevention Week

Last fall we had a high school student who died by suicide after experiencing deep emotional pain, hopelessness, and mental illness. Such pain does not make someone a criminal. But the word “commits” makes suicide sound like a crime. My school had two family members who died by suicide last year and I was very careful about the language I used with the family to not further stigmatize their family member. Educate yourself about suicide prevention and advocacy at:

national-suicide-prevention-week

How to talk to kids about attacks in Paris

When there is a tragedy in the world today children are exposed to it either through the media, from discussions they hear, or from friends sharing the "news." Many of our students already know something about what occurred on Friday in Paris. Many churches openly prayed for the victims. However they know counselors need to be prepared with a response come Monday morning. Here is a good article for parents how-to-talk-to-your-kids-about-the-attacks-in-paris/ The same advice goes for staff: generally don't bring it up but if a child mentions it ask what they know, respond that we are safe, it is okay to feel upset (share personal feelings of sadness and compassion), let them no France and countries around the world or working harder to being the terrorists who did this to justice.

Emergency Plans

The government just released a new resource, Guide for Developing High-Quality School Emergency Operations Plans, check it out K-12 Guide

Resiliency in children after a death

The death of a parent or sibling creates a period of stress and sadness for surviving children.  Research suggests that bereaved children are a vulnerable population, at increased risk for social impairments and other emotional problems.  Unfortunately grieving children have often lost (to death or the parent's own grief) the reliable presence of a positive, caring, and protective parent/caregiver. The resiliency research provides evidence that identifiable protective factors are involved in safeguarding those at risk while promoting successful development.  Protective factors can be individual based like a resilient temperament or a positive social orientation but they can also be broader.  A close bond to family, school, or community built on opportunities, skills, and recognition help children cope. Children must be provided with opportunities to contribute to their community, family, peers, and school.When studied grieving children expressed sadness, anger, and fear, and there was a theme of happiness. In talking to my students who are grieving I always take time to dwell on their happy stories.  The children get joy from sharing happy memories of the loved one who has died. As school counselors I think we must incorporate a strength-based approach into our interventions.  The children realize that other children are reluctant to discuss the person who died with them so it is vital the counselor listens and focuses on how strong and normal the grieving child is without discounting the range of emotions.  Remember to promote hope!

Kid's Grief Resources

There are several blogs that I recommend have useful activities and resources including Kids Grief Relief and Grieving Children.. Some of the published workbooks have useful activities.  One I have used is The Grief Bubble is a special workbook for children ages 6 and older who have experienced the death of someone special. The interactive format invites them to find expression for their thoughts and feelings, encouraging the exploration of their grief. A useful tool for parents, counselors, educators and other caring adults supporting children in grief.  Finally as far as regular books to read Sad Isn't Bad: A Good-Grief Guidebook for Kids Dealing with Loss has a positive message that I think is useful in counseling or to send home for a parent to read with their child.

Grief camps and support groups

Grief camps like Comfort Zone Camp, offer children a place where they can talk about a relative who died without feeling self-conscious or worrying about making classmates squeamish. There are a variety of camp formats.  There are day camps, weekend camps, and week long camps.  Some in our area have long waiting lists.  I often suggest to families that they explore the camp options and then talk to the child about whether they would like to try a grief camp.  Most of the students I have worked with the past several years have wanted to go back to camp again the next year.  Bereavement programs for children help them feel less ‘odd person out.’ 

In peer support groups, available for children ages 3 to 18, adults encourage conversation between children and let them mourn as they wish.  Many of the survivor groups like those offered through Life with Cancer are free.  Most of the groups incorporate some type of art therapy activities. Again most children appreciate the opportunity to talk to a peer with a similar experience.

But peer support groups are not counseling and therapy. If a child is still struggling 2-3 months after the death, counseling may be indicated.  Hospice centers are a good place to get help early on. They not only focus on the needs of dying patients, but also offer bereavement services for up to a year after the patient’s death. 

Often times a parent dealing with a death may need counseling or therapy too.   I had a parent/survivor of a death state recently "I am still trying to figure out what grief counseling is and if I need it?"  As school counselors we definitely need to be able to explain what grief counseling is and how and why a person may need to access it.  Children need at least one parent who is emotionally available to them.  In addition to telling families about services available for children, we may need to help them find out about services available to adults in the community.  Again hospice and Life with Cancer may be good starting places for parents who are grieving.

Caring Basket

 My part-time counselor and I just wrote what we hope is our last sympathy note for a child who lost a parent for the year.  We gather cards from the class, families of the class, and any staff who would like to contribute and get a nice caring or comfort basket to hold the items.  Depending on the age and interest of the child we include a few things to help occupy their time.  I bought my latest "friend" an origami kit because she has to travel for the memorial service. We also typically include a stuffed animal and something else that is cuddly, this time a beach towel.  Some of our families donate a gift card to the local ice cream shop or something similar. One of our older students liked basketball so the class all signed a new ball.  We also include at least one book on a topic the student enjoys.  All my students who have received these baskets talk about how they thought they helped.  For more ideas in helping children check out grief-in-children

When classmates are told about death

o   I thought I'd share some of the things we have found helpful through the crisis we have dealt with this year as well as prior experience. It is important to establish one point of contact between school and family.  It is necessary to get the family's approval for everything the school wishes to do. The point of contact finds out on which days the child who has lost a family member will be in and out of school.  Teachers (and even front office staff) may need support depending on how close they were to the person who died or the children experiencing the loss. In most incidents all staff in a school should be informed at a brief emergency staff meeting because children may talk about the loss on the bus, etc. and teachers need to know the basic facts.  The counselor(s) (and others as deemed appropriate to specific incident) conduct a class meeting with the teacher participating  to tell students what the family has agreed can be shared.  The purpose of this meeting is to make sure everyone has the same information, has a chance to ask questions, and express their own feelings. With children it is important to let them know this is not time to share about their own experience with loss but someone would be available to talk to them privately later if they needed to talk.  The loss of a parent or sibling is very scary for the other children in the class but generally some will already know and it is important to stop rumors.  We try to contain sharing information to the child who has lost a family member's homeroom class, but sometimes for older students who share classes or everyone knows them so well all classes in a grade need a meeting.  As a general guideline, children are urged to be kind, quiet, caring friends. This is really about how to treat the survivor how you acted before the death.  Be nice, don't grab the child and hug him/her, don't ask questions but listen if the child wants to talk, show compassion in small ways by explaining what was missed, etc.  Our school chooses not to advise parents if children should attend memorial services, that is a family decision.  Generally the teacher, counselor, and administrator go to services conducted locally and we tell the class we are representing them.  Making a card, if they choose, is a way for the classmates to express sympathy. With family permission, classmates are offered the opportunity to make cards for a caring basket.  If time permits can do both sympathy and return to school letters. Keep in mind that sympathy cards can be very tough for very young students so it may be better to do "we miss you" cards.  Teacher screens cards for appropriateness and asks pupil services staff if not sure. Depending on the child we often include a stuffed animal or some other activity the greiving child may enjoy doing (i.e., book on topic child enjoys). If family approves, the administrator sends a letter home telling the parents of the class about the loss, what was said in the class meeting (kind, quiet, caring), and to contact a pupil services staff member with questions or if their own child needs support.