Friendship Issue

Pirate, Viking & Scientist by J. Chapman is a perfect book for a small friendship group in grades 2-5 or a classroom lesson. The book deals with a very common problem of a child who has 2 friends but the friends do not get along with each other. I am sure every elementary counselor has a discussion about this issue multiple times each year. The book also reviews the scientific method and has great vocabulary which makes it useful to reinforce academics as well as social emotional learning. I highly recommend purchasing a copy for your program but if you do not have a budget it is read aloud on YouTube.

New Books

One of my favorite publishers of children books is Magination Press https://www.apa.org They are the publisher of Don't Squeal Unless It's a Big Deal which should be on every elementary counselors book shelf. They have new releases almost every month. The two shown above were just released in April and cover topics elementary counselors deal with frequently: it is OK to ask for help; and moving schools. They have books that address a variety of social emotional needs and disabilities/differences of children. 

Small Group Counseling Tips

I am getting ready to present at the KSCA Conference on my favorite topic, small group counseling, so I thought I'd share a few of the slides from my presentation and explain what is included on each. My part-time counselor and I decided last Spring to really get our groups organized, clearly delineate the competencies we want to cover on each of our main topics (social skills, self regulation, emotion regulation, and flexible thinking). Once we agreed on the competencies we reviewed all the evidence based materials and practices for each. In the area of social skills we pulled from a number of good resources (many of which I have reviewed in previous posts) and then also tried to incorporate a picture book for each session in our K-3 groups. We are fortunate to own literally thousands pf children's books. We wanted to assign a book to a specific session and not reuse them in any other group. It is common to address the same competencies from year to year like how to give a compliment but we wanted to use a different book at each grade level and build on the student response required. We have also discovered that just telling students a number (this group will be 8 sessions) is not a strong enough organizer, we like an overview "session map" that the students can see where they are in the sequence so they no there are x number of sessions remaining and what is covered in each session.  For all our small groups we have an activity or response sheet for each session and on these sheets we put a small image of the book at the top. We include a brief description of what was read and taught in the session. St the end of the group these booklets go home and parents know exactly what we covered in the group. Many parents get the books from the library and reread them with their child to remind them of skills that they still need to practice. We have gotten excellent feedback on these booklets from families. Some students will save them and tell us the next year, "I still have the book I made with you." On the slides above I have provided the name of each book we use by session and one of the same pages from our booklets for that grade level. We run so many social skills for kindergarten we have two curriculum - learning how to make and be a friend is a critical life lesson for our young learners. I know some counselors send home the sheets the same day a group meets, but we found that many never made it home but when the booklets get sent home they do make it.

How to Help Young Children Fit In and Make Friends

This is the time of year counselors are looking for summer reading and resources to buy for next year. My next several posts will be devoted to some materials I have discovered and used that other elementary counselors may find useful. Getting from Me to We by Shonna Tuck a speech language therapist is very useful in working with young children through age 7 with social skill deficits with or without diagnoses of autism, anxiety, or ADHD. Approximately 3 children in every class need extra support to relate to peers (tier two). She has created a simple social skills development ladder that is very practical and useful in identifying gaps and goals around friendships.  As a counselor it has helped me consult with teachers about recess and free time that are the most challenging times of the school day for these kids. I recommend this book to all parents whose children are struggling making and keeping friends.  It has a great chapter on how to manage effective playdates. Since social skills issues are one of our primary reasons for referrals, check out this book.

Adapting Superflex Social Thinking Curriculum to Small Group

After using the Superflex Social Thinking Curriculum for several years to help students who have difficulty with flexible thinking, I finally transformed it into an effective small counseling group for my students in grade 2-4. socialthinking.com Flexible thinking lets children shift gears and think about things in different ways. This executive skill is a key part of problem solving. Many kids with learning and attention issues have trouble with flexible thinking. To learn more about flexible thinking check out flexible-thinking-what-you-need-to-know Many students with ADHD benefit from this curriculum.

First, it is important to start with Social Smarts and reviewing expected and unexpected behavior before starting in and teaching the characters. I divided the Superflex positive powers, Unthinkables, and strategies by grade level so that students could return to the group for up to 3 years if they still need help with this important executive functioning skill. Second graders need the back ground in social thinking and a gradual introduction to flexible thinking. I only introduce a few of the characters and focus on the skills. In fact what is most valuable about this curriculum is the skills. I also added a few additional strategies and skills because the Curriculum repeats the same strategies a lot. For example, for Worry Wall in grade 3 I added the Feeling Thermometer and emphasize coping thoughts. In grade 4 I added I statements and the Win-Win model to teach specific strategies to solve conflicts to "defeat" Destroyer of Fun.

Due to the large demand for groups at my school and not enough counseling time, I always keep my groups to 8 sessions. I send home information to parents about what is taught and communicate the strategies the students are learning to both the general and special education teachers. I also modify many of the handouts so they are more a way to practice the strategy instead of learn about the character.

We use Second Step as our tier 1 social emotional curriculum and I feel for students who need more this is an effective tier 2 intervention. For some of my tier 3 or students identified as needing SPED I have worked thorough the program individually, then added them to a group when they could be successful.  For example, I did the grade 2 curriculum with a student with Autism and then he was able to join the group in grade 3. 

Group Using Howard B. Wigglebottom Books

I hope you are all aware of the tremendous resources available at wedolisten.org a non profit foundation. They currently have 15 books with companion posters, songs, and games available online. I prefer using the hard copy and have the entire set in my office. I have used a variety of these books for social/emotional groups with kindergarten through grade 2. Above is an outline of the topics and skills I recently used with a first grade group. Each book focuses on teaching a particular skill which makes them a terrific resource for a psycho-educational group. I have evaluated these groups and they do show a positive change in perception data. I vary which books I use depending on the needs of the group. I also change the activities depending on the age and ability of the group members. The children love Howard!

Out of Your Mind

This noncompetitive game is a good resource for individual and small groups to get to know what students are thinking and teach social skills. Out of Your Mind from
 playtherapysupply fosters empathy and teaches communication, listening, and decision-making skills.

The game consists of four card decks and a Feel Wheel—a conversation-starting spinner featuring 24 emotions. Each card deck presents activities that engage the imagination and inspire creativity:

• Imagine That - Through guided imagery, these cards encourage players to visualize themselves dealing with novel situations.
• Picture This - Endorsing the idea that a picture is worth a thousand words, these cards feature 4 or 5 drawings that help players express themselves.
• Voice a Choice - Multiple-choice questions invite players to share things about themselves.
• Remember When - These cards ask players to recall a memory.

Out of Your Mind helps reluctant children communicate effectively.  I use this game with students in fourth and fifth grade and I think it is a worthwhile resource for a school counselor's office.

Teaching Children to Apologize

Here are 2 excellent books to anchor a class lesson or small group session on this important social skill. Start With Sorry by Finch is perfect for Pre-Kindergarten to grade 1. Zach Apologizes by Mulcahy is good for grades 2 and 3. Mulcahy teaches a 4-part apology strategy.

Social Skills Groups

I started small groups this week. For my first and second grade social skills group I am using First Steps to Social Success by Diane Senn. There are 25 lessons so I pick 8 lessons for each grade level two from each of the 4 topics covered:

• Knowing Myself First
• Initiating with Others
• Learning Conversation Skills
• Reading Social Cues: Seeing, Thinking, Doing

For my third and fourth grade I use Senn's Next Steps to Social Success. These resources have good pre-post tests and handout too. I select lessons from the featured topics in Next Steps:

• Building Friendships
• Managing Friendships
• Handling Friendship Problems
• Social Skills in the Classroom

You could use lessons from both books but I am using them at different grade levels and tracking which lesson I have used. I may need to do a second group later in the year for some of the students and there are still plenty of lesson left. 

youthlight.com/

Feelings Ladders

In order for children to regulate emotions they need to understand that all feelings are okay and there are many nuances to emotions especially the level of intensity. Children need to have a rich emotional vocabulary to label and express feelings. They need to be very aware of  how they are reacting to choose an appropriate strategy to manage the feeling. For anger counselors often use a thermometer but for other feelings like levels of "Afraid" I find a ladder is a better visual for most kids. After we brainstorm and discuss a particular "feeling family" like afraid or unsure they can select and write on a blank ladder handout low, medium, and high feelings in that category they experience. For example:
Anxious, Nervous, Uneasy, Frightened, Panicky, and Terrified. For some students it may be helpful to color the steps that are low green, medium yellow, and high red. Using Feelings Ladders helps students better understand emotions and then you can discuss appropriate coping tools for each level. For example if a student is anxious they may need to use take a movement break, if they are uneasy slow deep breathing, and if they are panicky seek help from an adult or self-talk.  They can write their go to strategy for each level on this handout to help them remember what might work for them. I have used Feelings Ladders both individually and in small groups from grades 2-5. You could also make a blank Feelings Ladder poster and laminate it to reuse.

New Book on Perseverance

Mulcahy's latest book on social skills shows the attitude needed to persevere. It is part of the 

zach-rules-set/ I use all these books and like that each one has hints for parents and teachers to apply the skill taught. This one teaches grit, the others cover problem solving (apology), emotions (frustration), and mistakes (mindset).

Amy Krouse Rosenthal

Amy Krouse Rosenthal, author of 28 children's books, died last month at the age of 51. To learn more about Amy go to whoisamy. I just wanted to pay tribute to Amy by mentioning some of her books that I use regularly in counseling. Duck! Rabbit! is a terrific book to teach different perspectives. My favorite is The OK Book  which I use with groups of students who are anxious. Other books by Amy I use are Spoon, Chopsticks, and I Wish You More. She did a number of TED Talks that are very inspiring including 7 Notes on Life.

Book To Teach Optimism

We use the MindUp Curriculum from the Hawn Foundation. It has a lesson titled "Choosing Optimism" which I think is one of the most important lessons. Optimism is a learned trait and if practiced, can become a way of thinking. The Curriculum suggests about 4 books as Literature Links and the ones for this lesson are okay but my favorite book on optimism Is Rain Brings Frogs by Maryann Cocca-Leffler. She is a great author and the message of hope in this book is powerful and the illustrations capture the audience. I use this with grade 2.

Group: First Grade Boys Social Skills and Self Regulation

I am starting my final round of groups for the school year, it may seem late but we go to school through the third week in June. Generally this round is more intense tier 2 intervention for students who need more support. They may have been in a group earlier in the year but they are still struggling with social emotional, behavioral, or self-regulation issues. Most of these referrals come from teachers in progress monitoring meetings but a few are from parents. This year I am doing 2 small groups with first grade boys using my Howard B. Wigglebottom group curriculum based on the books, songs, and online resources from wedolisten.org I modify each year. I keep these groups really small 3-4 students in each group and they are 30 minutes long (they are pulled out of content class which means sometimes they miss social studies and sometimes science). I have shown you one boy's pre-group survey. The surveys do NOT go home, they are perception data for me. The pre-group survey helps me tailor the group to their needs. If they all report often "I am a good sport when I lose a game" I will skip that book and lesson. I make packets in advance and include the focus of the lesson and an activity each time. I have to vary the activities depending on their ability to write. I do 8 sessions and each time I have them color a star if they were following the group rules (these boys need this type of feedback). In the last session I will use the same basic survey (modified if we skipped a book). They take their group booklet home the last session so their parents can see what was worked on in group.

Got Grit?

Tom Carr, a retired school counselor, thinks hard hats, rope, and running shoes symbolize grit. Carr, like others, believes grit is more important than grades. The Second Edition (2015) Got Grit? is an entertaining collection of true stories of people who had tenacity, perseverance, and who overcame major adversities in their lives. He developed a program in his school to develop "true grit" in four steps: 

Getting along with others (social skills); 

Responsibility (to family, community, church, country, learning, health, nutrition, fitness); 

Integrity (honesty, kindness, compassion, sincerity); 

Tenacity (perseverance, determination).

The book provides ideas about how to implement a Got GRIT program in a class or school-wide.

The Lesson Guide book (2016) and CD offers 24 lessons and activities that can be used in combination with the book (recommended) or independently to teach GRIT to students in grades 3-8. Each of the 4 steps has six lessons. I really like the discussion and lesson on "The Gift of Pain" and a personal GPS (Grit + Pain = Success). To learn more about Got GRIT see  www.gotgrit.org 

To order these 2 books go to youthlight.com While you are on the Youthlight site check out the other 8 books Carr has published. I always like resources that were developed by practicing school counselors because they generally are easy to adapt to my own program. For example, I am planning to use 1-2 of the lessons in my tier 1 classroom lessons in grades 3-5 and the rest in small tier 2 groups.

The Formative Five: Fostering Grit, Empathy, and Other Success Skills Every Student Needs

In Fostering Grit (2013) Thomas R. Hoerr defined grit as tenacity, perseverance, hanging in, and not giving up. Hoerr showed what teaching for grit looks like and provided a sample lesson plan and self-assessments, along with a six-step process applicable across grade levels and content areas to help students build skills they need to succeed in school and in life. The steps for developing grit in students: 1) Establishing the environment; 2) Setting expectations; 3) Teaching the vocabulary; 4) Creating frustration; 5) Monitoring the experience; and 6) Reflecting and learning.
In Hoerr's new book educators will learn how to foster the Formative Five (2017) success skills that today's students need, including
Empathy: learning to see the world through others' perspectives.
Self-control: cultivating the abilities to focus and delay self-gratification.
Integrity: recognizing right from wrong and practicing ethical behavior.
Embracing diversity: recognizing and appreciating human differences.
Grit: persevering in the face of challenge.
The book has a Student Self-Assessment Survey for each of the five skills.
Both these books are published by ASCD so it should be no surprise that the Formative Five relate to all five "Whole Child Tenets": 1) Healthy; 2) Safe; 3) Engaged; 4) Supported; and 5) Challenged. ascd.org/whole-child

Perseverance

To go along with lesson on grit is my December bulletin board on Perseverance. This board is an adaption of the one in Rosanne Sheritz Sartori's book Counseling On the Wall. You just down load the quotes from the CD that comes with the book. I used it several years ago and just updated it with a different background, border, and sparkly stars (from Target dollar section). It was super easy and reinforces what I am covering in classes and my resiliency groups.

Check out bulletin boards for every month of the school year on the Bulletin Board page of this website.

Understanding Bragging

Frequently fourth graders like to brag and put down peers. Julia Cook's book. "Well I Can Top That" really gets across how this habit can be a real turn off to friends. In the session members sort statements into bragging and not bragging piles. After reading and discussing the key points in the book, each member thinks about the message of the book and applies it to a personal situation.

Social Emotional Learning Resource

If you are not familiar with these delightful books by Dr. John. According to their creator, these characters (books) enable kids with all types of personal issues to talk about their emotions and understand that they are not alone. The earlier students learn about their own feelings, the more they can recognize and sympathize with how others feel too.  With knowledge comes power, and with emotional understanding comes empathy, self-respect and resolution. Dr. John wants us "all embrace our inner “Woo”!" I use the books in Tier 2 groups in second grade for emotional regulation. The website has lesson plans that could be adapted for classroom lessons taught by the counselor but since we use Second Step and MindUp for Tier 1 I use these for Tier 2 intervention groups.The website has an informal anxiety checklist that could be taken by children and parents. It also has a tip sheet for parents.  My favorite is "Don't Feed the Worry Bug" which could benefit anxious students in grades 1-3.
www.worrywoos.com

Calm Down and Release the Amygdala

I think it is important to teach students about their brain. This video does a good job of summarizing 3 key strategies for self regulation: breathing, relaxation, and positive thoughts. This video uses the same language I use in groups including square breathing and green vs. red thoughts. It even uses the spaghetti analogy that I often use with a simple warm-up exercise called spaghetti toes.