Just Ask!

This is a terrific new book that all counselors will want on their book shelves. This book is written by US Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor based on her own feelings as a child. She felt different because she had juvenile diabetes. She tells of an incident as an adult having to give herself an insulin injection in a restaurant bathroom and then overhearing a woman who was in the bathroom at the time tell her companion that the Justice was a drug addict. Her response was ask do not judge others. The book teaches kids when they encounter someone who is different but we're not sure why, they should Just Ask!

New Books

One of my favorite publishers of children books is Magination Press https://www.apa.org They are the publisher of Don't Squeal Unless It's a Big Deal which should be on every elementary counselors book shelf. They have new releases almost every month. The two shown above were just released in April and cover topics elementary counselors deal with frequently: it is OK to ask for help; and moving schools. They have books that address a variety of social emotional needs and disabilities/differences of children. 

Resources for Gender Identity

Gender identity is how someone describes their own gender. Generally this is one’s sense of being male or female, but gender identity and expression are fluid and intricate, with many variations. To learn more go to bstigmafree.org Although it's not really known how many children identify as transgender, advocates surmise some are now more likely to "come out" and transition at younger ages than in years past because of greater public awareness of the issue. There are also transgender teachers and parents so counselors need resources for this issue. These resources are primarily for children and parents but counselors may increase their own sense of how to support children regarding gender identity from The Gender Identity Workbook for Kids: A Guide to Exploring Who You Are and The Conscious Parent's Guide to Gender Identity: A Mindful Approach to Embracing Your Child's Authentic Self (The Conscious Parent's Guides)  The picture books support teaching children about the fluidity of gender and the importance of acceptance. Also check out genderspectrum.org

Happiness is a Choice

"Happiness is a choice. Be happy." That's the essential message of Yabuki's picture book.  To illustrate life's struggles and the actions that can help them seem less daunting, she presents a series of photographs featuring a small, whitish rock named Ishi, with dot eyes and a mouth that changes to reflect its mood.This book encourages others to choose and share happiness. This book can be used in a variety of groups such as emotion regulation or social skills. After reading and discussing mindfulness the story, group members can make their our own rock friends that could remind them to be happy and spread kindness. 

What Ifs

The hallmark of anxious thoughts is imagining al the "what ifs" that could possibly go wrong. The Key message of this children's book is "Remember to not believe all that you think, and slowly those fears will begin to shrink." Anxiety can confuse kids because it is a false prediction. Their brain is tricking them to believe something (that is dangerous) is present when it is not. It is hard to retrain a child who has chronic worrisome thoughts. This book encourages focusing on what is good and talking to a trusted adult. The books uses the metaphor of an umbrella to keep the stormy thoughts away. This book can be used in individual counseling, in an emotion management group, or sent home as a resource to families.

Celebrate Colors!

This new book is a great nonjudgmental exploration of stereotypes. Pink is for Boys byRobb Pearlman celebrates all colors being for everyone and many things. It is a great inclusive message to give ALL children. This book offers a great way to promote diversity in your school especially in the early grades before stereotypes get so strong they are hard to overcome. If you need resources on diversity education for your school check out diversity-toolkit

Grief Resources

These are my top 3 children's books about grief.  Kids who experience loss appreciate a book that helps them understand their feelings and how to move on without their love one being physically present. I like  wordens-four-tasks-of-mourning/ especially the idea that they can come in any order. Grief is unique, not only to the person, but also to each loss. I remember working with three children in one family who lost their mom to cancer. Each child handled the loss differently and needed different types of support. The one thing they had in common was they did find reading about loss helped them process their own grief. I loaned their dad one of our Family Resource Packs and they kept it for 1-1/2 years. He said the kids kept going back and reading the books so he did not return it until they said they did not need the books anymore. I wish I had had these 3 in the pack back then, but I am glad to have them available now for the next child that is grieving. I always encourage families to consider making a memory box so I was very glad when The Memory Box was published and we added it to the counseling resources.

Ricky, the Rock that Couldn't Roll

The company newpaigepress was founded by author and entrepreneur Jay Miletsky, who came up with the idea for his first children's book, Ricky, the Rock That Couldn't Roll, while reading to his daughter, Bria Paige, one night before bed. Bria has cerebral palsy. According to Miletsky, "By dealing with issues metaphorically, we can create books that developmentally typical kids and their families can enjoy and take something positive from, while at the same time giving kids with developmental challenges, and their families, a strong yet subtle message of hope without highlighting or even mentioning a disability." The author actually funded the book through a Kickstarter.
This book has darling illustrations by Erin Wozniak and a simple story line. The rocks spend their days rolling down the hill while enjoying the company of other rocks. The main character is Ricky, and he has a difference that keeps him from rolling down the hill. Rather than his friends leaving him out, the rocks and pebbles band together to help him be included.
All elementary counselors should have access to this book. It would be a perfect read aloud to a class about including students that are different in some way (IEPs, 504, and ELL). It could also be used in a friendship group to teach the idea about including everyone in games at school or problem solving.
Finally, it could be recommended to parents of children (ages 4-8) with some obvious difference or parents of typical children trying to figure out how to include a peer (or sibling) with special needs.

Book about Depression

More than 350 million people of all ages in the world suffer from depressions. About 5% of children suffer from depression. Those who experience loss, have learning or conduct issues, and those with anxiety are at higher risk. 

Meh is wordless picture book about depression that gives a lot of freedom to readers to reflect, project, and interpret how they best see and understand the story. Especially poignant is how the cat is open to interpretation as to what may be helping the boy get out of his depression — and creates an important opportunity for a person to imagine what help would look like for them.  Meh also includes questions that can guide the reader through the story.

This book is applicable to many levels of grief, sadness, and depression for both those suffering directly or indirectly from it.   This book gives strength, hope, empathy, and understanding in a very approachable graphic-novel/picture book format. The publisher thunderstoneMeh_Activity-book offers a free booklet of activities to be used in conjunction with this book to help ease feelings of worry and sadness. I include a copy of this book in the Family Resource Pack I loan families who ask for my help with a child who has been diagnosed as depressed or has a close family member with depression.

Resource to support children in overcoming trauma

Trust is one of the most complex human emotions is trust. Trust is the strong belief in the reliability, truth, ability or strength of someone or something. Trauma can disrupt the emotion of trust, and this can have a lasting impact on a person’s life.  The National Institute of Mental Health (USA) defines childhood trauma as; “The experience of an event by a child that is emotionally painful or distressful, which often results in lasting mental and physical effects.” However with the right support it is possible to recover from early trauma. It is recommended to provide children with ongoing opportunities to talk about what they went through without pressuring them to do so.

"Hugo Learns to Trust Again" is a simple book about a young chimp who looses his home and mother.  Hugo eventually ends up with a loving caregiver and begins to trust again. Along with the book comes a CD containing many activities that promote discussions with children and tips for care givers. A 2014 study showed that nearly half of all children in the United States are exposed to at least one traumatic social or family experience; therefore, I recommend all elementary counselors adding this resource to their bookshelf. It is available at youthlight.com

Boy Friendship Story

This sweet book is just what I have been searching for the past few years. This is the first book by this author translated from French to English. It is very hard to find good books about friendships between boys. Since I typically use a book in each friendship small group session this is a treasure.  In the story the parents are uncomfortable by how the boys seem to love one another. This can be discussed or just serve as exposure to the idea that people do love others of the same gender. Children need to be able to connect to the characters in the story and for young students I have found it can be hard for some kids to make a text to self connection if the child is not their gender. 

In the fall I typically run mixed gender groups but the second and third rounds of groups I frequently split boys and girls and keep the groups smaller. I focus each session on a specific ASCA Mindset and Behavior and a competency that gets at the skill that session is designed to teach because our groups are psycho-educational. This book would work for a number of skills such as Identify characteristics of friendship or List behaviors that keep friends. This book could be used with kindergarten through grade 2. 

Grief Resources

This beautifully illustrated book can be used to discuss separation, anxiety, grief and loss. It uses nature as a way to connect with our love ones. The web site has a guided discussion plan to use with PreK to grade 2 children sunkissesmoonhugs There are also suggested art activities to use with the book. This could be used by a teacher at the beginning of the school year. The author and illustrator have collaborated on two other books you might want to check out.

Children's Books About Gender Identity

A 2016 study looked at students in ninth and 11th grade and estimated that nearly 3 percent identify as transgender or gender nonconforming more-u-s-teens-identify-transgender-survey  Youth often express non-conforming or “atypical” gender behavior by kindergarten or earlier. While gender variance is common in individuals of all ages, gender non-conforming behavior in pre-adolescents is particularly visible. Obviously these children have lots of questions and they are particularly vulnerable to peer rejection and even bullying. If you need more information on this topic check out  genderdiversity.org/best-practices-schools/elementary/

Pictured above are some very sensitive picture books which counselors should have available to help normalize and guide gender-diverse youth and their peers.  

My Princess Boy (Kilodavis)

Introducing Teddy (Walton)

Red: A Crayon's Story (Hall)

I Am Jazz (Herthel & Jennings)

The elementary counselors in my district (about 30 of us) reviewed a several books on gender identity and expression and felt these would be a good fit with our community.  We each use them in our school in whatever way is needed. It could be in a classroom, individual counseling, or as a resource for families. 

If you want to see more go to jocolibrary.bibliocommons.com/list

Great resources from Magination Press

One of my favorite publishers is Magination Press (American Psychological Association)  http://www.apa.org/pubs/magination These are two of the books I got this year. I love Move Your Mood to emphasize how moving can help you self-regulate and improve your mood. Bye Bye Pesky Fly is perfect for an emotion regulation group or a class lesson on dealing with frustration. Check their site frequently because they publish new books often and most of them are great additions to the school counselors bookshelf.

Mindful Mantras Series

 

 

This is a terrific series on self-regulation, mindfulness, self-esteem, and problem solving.  I use these books in my self-regulation  and emotion management small groups. Teachers like to borrow them to share with the whole class and we include some of them in out Family Resource Packs we send home for parents to borrow. The books come with a link to go to a web site for a free lesson for each book that also has suggestions for parents. The author, Laurie Wright, is a former teacher and one of my new favorite authors!

How to Help Young Children Fit In and Make Friends

This is the time of year counselors are looking for summer reading and resources to buy for next year. My next several posts will be devoted to some materials I have discovered and used that other elementary counselors may find useful. Getting from Me to We by Shonna Tuck a speech language therapist is very useful in working with young children through age 7 with social skill deficits with or without diagnoses of autism, anxiety, or ADHD. Approximately 3 children in every class need extra support to relate to peers (tier two). She has created a simple social skills development ladder that is very practical and useful in identifying gaps and goals around friendships.  As a counselor it has helped me consult with teachers about recess and free time that are the most challenging times of the school day for these kids. I recommend this book to all parents whose children are struggling making and keeping friends.  It has a great chapter on how to manage effective playdates. Since social skills issues are one of our primary reasons for referrals, check out this book.

Teaching Children About Empathy

You, Me and Empathy by Jayneen Sanders teaches children about empathy, feelings, kindness, compassion, tolerance, respect and recognizing bullying behaviors. For other books by this author go to e2epublishing.info/books/ I love the illustrations and that they discuss the four basic groups of emotions that we use in our school counseling program. Empathy is a learned skill so as counselors it is something we need to teach. We also need to help parents find resources to teach empathy at home. This book includes discussion questions that can be used in school or at home. I highly recommend you pick up a copy and figure out the best place to include it in your program next year. I use it in a third grade emotion management group, but it could work in first and definitely in second grade.

Emotion Management Group Grade 1

A high need in my school is support for students with anxiety, unfortunately even as young as first grade. Research has shown the sooner children with anxiety begin to learn tools to self regulate the better. Research continues to indicate that Cognitive Behavioral approaches and Mindfulness are effective in reducing anxiety. Using children's literature to teach strategies and normalize the fact that many children have anxiety in the primary grades is also effective. I have developed an Emotion Management group curriculum for grades 1-5. Many of the same skills are taught at each level but with increased complexity.  I think it is critical that the focus be on skill development and that parents and teachers know what skills are taught in group. Before each group I put together a packet for the 8 sessions. Each handout has the image of the book we shared and a simple explanation of the skill and activity. It really helps students see that the group is structured and how far along they are each session. If group gets cancelled one week for a special activity or schedule change, they know we will keep meeting until we complete the 8 sessions. I communicate with parents at least 3 times during a group (beginning, middle, and end). Parents give very positive feedback about the packet of work coming home at the end and being able to reinforce the skills taught in group.

My goal is to serve as many students as possible and avoid a large number of students being referred for individual counseling. Most children like the group and support one another; however, there are some children with social anxiety that can't yet speak in a group so I may see them individually one year with the hope of them doing a group at the next grade level. I always collect perception data for these groups with a simple pre-post survey. I do NOT send these home rather I use them to evaluate the effectiveness of the groups and what needs to be revised.

Healing the Long-term Effects of Childhood Adversity

Two thirds of people have experienced at least one adverse childhood experience, from the likes of bereavement and divorce to abuse and neglect. In The Deepest Well Dr Burke Harris reveals the science behind childhood adversity and offers a new way of understanding the adverse events that affect us throughout our lifetime. Based on her own groundbreaking clinical work and public leadership, Dr Burke Harris shows us how we can disrupt this cycle through interventions that help retrain the brain and body, foster resilience, and help children, families, and adults live healthier, happier lives. Listen to the NPR broadcast about this research and how schools are changing as a result https://www.npr.org/the-deepest-well-healing-the-long-term-effects-of-childhood-adversity 

I learned so much from this book especially "Living with the Bear" which causes a dysregulated stress response that can be a daily pattern for some students. Dr. Burke also talks about all the physical health risks for students with early trauma. I hope all school counselors will read this book.

Books that promote self-understanding and compassion

Listening to My Body by Gabi Garcia is a picture book that introduces children to the practice of paying attention to their bodies. Through a combination of story and simple experiential activities, it guides them through the process of noticing and naming their feelings and the physical sensations that accompany them, while helping them build on their capacity to engage mindfully, self-regulate, and develop a better sense of well-being. We have used this in our grade 1 and 2 self-regulation groups.
Garcia's new book Listening with My Heart introduces the universal themes of kindness, empathy and self-compassion. It includes kid-friendly self-compassion / mindfulness exercises.  So far I have just shared this book with individual students but it would work well in a group or lesson too. Go to the author's web site for free activity guides to use with these books gabigarciabooks.com/