Suicide Prevention/Awareness

Tragically two of my closest friends have lost a child to suicide in the past 5 months. It is hard, even as a trained mental health provider, to know how to help parents who loose a child to suicide.
As school counselors we need to be pro active in bringing awareness to this national health crisis - suicide is the second leading cause of death for young people between the ages of 10 to 35. The number of attempts in students ages 10 to 14 has increased dramatically over the last few years. School counselors must teach others how to prevent suicide and destigmatize death by suicide. For more resources check out Suicide Awareness Voices of Education www.save.org
Suicide is often a poor solution for a life problem. Teaching problem-solving skills, the capacity to manage feelings, and the ability to turn to trusted adults are critical prevention skills. Maintaining a safe school environment where students and staff feel connected is critical to preventing suicide.  Any suspicion of potential suicide places school counselors in a position to immediately assess the student and notify parents/guardians.

School counselors are the first responders to students' mental health needs. School counselors must be informed about signs of suicidal thoughts, knowledgeable about resources, prepare other staff to recognize and report warning signs, assess the risk, and refer students who are high risk to appropriate community agencies. Remember that research shows that people who are having thoughts of suicide feel relief when someone asks after them in a caring way.

Should these preventative practices fail school counselors are key to supportive services.  Suicide can affect the entire school community, there is a ripple effect. Survivors have complex feelings after death by suicide, such as shame, fear, and anger. It takes time to reconcile to the reality of death by suicide. The book Touched by Suicide by Myers & Fine is a good resource for adults trying to cope with the loss of a love one. Many survivors find support groups helpful but grief is unique. November 23 is International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day.

Facilitating peer help at recess

Recess is an important part of the school day. Many schools have paraprofessionals and volunteers supervising these periods that are often not trained in social emotional skills; however, anyone in charge needs to be actively encouraging kindness and respect.  It is very helpful if the counselor works with classroom teachers to set playground expectations early in the school year.  Recess rules should be taught and practiced. Some specific behaviors to teach are: 1) how to line up; 2) what to do if someone gets hurt; 3) how to manage equipment, 4) sportsmanship, etc.

Once rules are established most students will be able to fill the recess period with social activities, but some children will not be able to figure out who to play with or what to do. Role playing is often useful to teach students how to respond when they notice a peer is alone and not playing.  A variety of options should be presented. For example, model saying "would you like to play ___ with us?" If the solitary child says "No" or does not respond it may help if someone that child knows goes closer and asks, "I usually play __ at recess would you like to do it with us today?" Many schools have a Buddy Bench where children who are having trouble joining in can go sit and peers come up and invite them. This works if a child has enough confidence to go sit on the bench, and the flexibility to agree to try the activity the invitee is playing.

Some students would benefit from a peer buddy during social times of the day. Students new to the school or those with disabilities might benefit from this type of support. I used to have teachers assign a peer buddy for lunch and recess the first 2 weeks a new student was at our school. Many times it worked to change the buddy until the child had sat with and played with a variety of the children in the class (some prefer to only have a buddy of the same gender so ask). 

For children with disabilities ask parents if they would like to try peer support on the playground and then the student if parents agree. Selecting students who naturally like to help may be willing to be a peer buddy. I would suggest coaching 5-6 students in a class with a student who needs a peer buddy and then assigning them just one day a week at lunch and/or recess a week with a substitute. I would observe on the playground and talk to PE teachers to determine several appropriate games or activities. Many times the child with a disability would only stay engaged for the first 10 minutes and then just want to do his or her own thing. I would explain to buddies it was fine for them to leave them alone and join their friends for the second part of recess.

Friendship Issue

Pirate, Viking & Scientist by J. Chapman is a perfect book for a small friendship group in grades 2-5 or a classroom lesson. The book deals with a very common problem of a child who has 2 friends but the friends do not get along with each other. I am sure every elementary counselor has a discussion about this issue multiple times each year. The book also reviews the scientific method and has great vocabulary which makes it useful to reinforce academics as well as social emotional learning. I highly recommend purchasing a copy for your program but if you do not have a budget it is read aloud on YouTube.

Ricky, the Rock that Couldn't Roll

The company newpaigepress was founded by author and entrepreneur Jay Miletsky, who came up with the idea for his first children's book, Ricky, the Rock That Couldn't Roll, while reading to his daughter, Bria Paige, one night before bed. Bria has cerebral palsy. According to Miletsky, "By dealing with issues metaphorically, we can create books that developmentally typical kids and their families can enjoy and take something positive from, while at the same time giving kids with developmental challenges, and their families, a strong yet subtle message of hope without highlighting or even mentioning a disability." The author actually funded the book through a Kickstarter.
This book has darling illustrations by Erin Wozniak and a simple story line. The rocks spend their days rolling down the hill while enjoying the company of other rocks. The main character is Ricky, and he has a difference that keeps him from rolling down the hill. Rather than his friends leaving him out, the rocks and pebbles band together to help him be included.
All elementary counselors should have access to this book. It would be a perfect read aloud to a class about including students that are different in some way (IEPs, 504, and ELL). It could also be used in a friendship group to teach the idea about including everyone in games at school or problem solving.
Finally, it could be recommended to parents of children (ages 4-8) with some obvious difference or parents of typical children trying to figure out how to include a peer (or sibling) with special needs.

Mindful Mantras Series

 

 

This is a terrific series on self-regulation, mindfulness, self-esteem, and problem solving.  I use these books in my self-regulation  and emotion management small groups. Teachers like to borrow them to share with the whole class and we include some of them in out Family Resource Packs we send home for parents to borrow. The books come with a link to go to a web site for a free lesson for each book that also has suggestions for parents. The author, Laurie Wright, is a former teacher and one of my new favorite authors!

Rock or Clay Problem

Many students come see the school counselor because a problem has them stuck and they are overwhelmed by an uncomfortable situation that is causing them unpleasant emotions and stress. When talking to my upper grade students about problems I like to use the metaphor (and props) is it a Rock or Clay problem? Generally I start by giving them a rock and asking if they can change its shape. Then I give them Play-Doh and ask if they can change it. Then we talk about Rock problems like parents separating or one parent living in another country. There is nothing a child can do to change this type of situation so they just have to cope. Mindfulness is a great technique for rock problems. We generally generate a list of positive coping strategies: talk to someone you trust, exercise, journal writing, drawing, listening to music, etc. For clay problems they need to use self-regulation (control) and find a solution that will get them past being stuck. Sometimes I have them make a shape from the Play-Doh that represents the solution they plan to try. I have done this with individuals and in small groups. I did it the other day with my group of ELL students who all have experienced living separately from a parent and coming to US with no English. I gave them each a rock and a can of Play-Doh to take home so they could explain our session.

Problem-Solving STEPs Bulletin Board

We use the Second Step program in all our schools Kindergarten through grade 8. The curriculum teaches a 4 step problem solving model. This is my bulletin board that stays up this month to remind the students of the STEPs. It is 3-D and super cute, made by our school base substitute teacher for the school counseling program.

Problem Solving Theme: Reading About Problem Solving Bulletin Board

This is the bulletin board outside our school cafeteria which shows the books I use in classroom lessons and with groups to teach problem-solving steps. We used parts of the Kindness board from last month to simplify the task of swapping out our boards monthly.

Books for Social Problem Solving

Our theme this month for classroom lessons is social problem solving using the 4 STEPs from Second Step. The Committee for Children has great video clips but in case technology fails I always take a book into classes. I can do the lesson with the poster and a book. These are some of the ones I use in groups to reinforce problem solving and as back up teaching tools in classes.

Arthur’s Eyes by Brown

But It’s Not My Fault by Cook

A Chair for My Mother by Williams

The Doorbell Rang by Hutchins

I Did It, I’m Sorry by Buehner

I Have a Little Problem, Said the Bear by Janisch

It Wasn’t My Fault by Lester

Ladybug Girl and Bumblebee Boy by Davis & Soman

Prudy’s Problem and How She Solved It by Armstrong-Ellis

Stuck by Jeffers

Swimmy by Lionni

Talk and Work It Out by Meiners

What to Do With a Problem? by Yamada & Besom

Problem Solving Theme

We use Second Step for Tier 1 and Tier 2 lessons and groups. The Problem-Solving Steps are taught at every grade level and social problem solving is our theme for March. This poster hangs in my office most of the second semester because I like to reinforce these steps in groups and some individual sessions as well where appropriate. Second Step teaches a 4-step problem-solving procedure (see poster) for social problems: 1) Say the problem without blame; 2) Think about solutions that are safe and respectful; 3) Think about what could happen if I do this - explore consequences; and 4) Pick the best solution and make your plan. We teach the problem solving steps by role playing different scenarios to help children understand and use this process. In kindergarten the 4 steps are mentioned but the focus is on the first 2 steps. Mini versions of the poster are kept in the grade 1-5 classrooms so students can refer to the steps frequently during daily interactions.

SOLVE Bingo

Here is a picture of my SOLVE bingo game I created to review problem solving skills I teach in groups in first and second grades. The pictures help my lower readers find the skill. I never give certificates or treats my last sessions. I frequently do my post group survey and then play a bingo game geared to the topic for an engaging review.

Favorite Author

If you are expanding your library for books to use in classroom lessons and small groups, I would recommend all or Maria Dismondy's books.  She really understands common issues children face including diversity, problem solving, self-esteem, and bullying behavior. Her books promote pro-social skills like kindness and other character traits. I use them in grades 1-3.  To learn more about her work check out her website http://mariadismondy.com

Mix It Up at Lunch

Today we participated in the nationwide Mix It Up at Lunch Day sponsored by tolerance.org/blog/mix-it-2015. Our teachers talked about the purpose of the day "to connect with others and make a new friend" during morning meetings. The student services staff gave each student in grades 1-5 a lego and had signs on all the tables with the variety of colors. The children sitting at the tables made something with their color and then during the last lunch period we had a child from each color add their creation to a single product that is on display in the library. We would recommend using legos because most elementary students like building with legos and you can get them in as many colors as you need. Lat year we ordered pencils that said "Mix It Up at Lunch Day 2014" and had the students write on post it notes something new they learned about a person but this was much easier. We do something different most years to keep up the interest. It is a great opportunity to observe students social skills and how they cope with problems (like not sitting with their best friend).

Problem Solving 4 Step STOP model

Our theme for classroom lessons in March is problem solving.  It is helpful to teach one model to the entire school at all grade levels.  Obviously this facilitates repeated exposure to the concepts an a higher likelihood the students will know if when they need to solve "kid size" problems.  Most schools use a 4 step model like STAR Decision Making or STEPs (from Second Step).  We use STOP because I prefer the key terms and since we use Steps to Respect for our bullying program I want to keep them separate.  STOP stands for Stop, Think, Options, and Plan.  As the students get older we encourage them to come up with more options and introduce that compromise or win-win is often the preferred option. You can introduce problem solving with a skit, a short video, use the picture cards from Second Step, or make a Smartboard or PowerPoint lesson.  I am always on the look out for good books on problem solving but I have not been as successful as with our other themes. Here are the resources I pull from to create my lessonschallengingchildren/problem-solving-with-stop second-step/elementary

Is it a big deal or a little deal?

This book and CD from YouthLight is one of the favorite new resources I purchased at the VSCA Conference in the fall of 2014.  I taught a lesson to each of our 6 second grade classes using the interactive book, song, and posters in December.  We used to teach the DeBug Problem Solving steps to all kindergarten student and review them in grade 1.  That helped because most of the students had learned that they have to solve small problems themselves.  I like this because it does not emphasize tattling, but rather teaches specific strategies for various types of "little deals." The interactive book worked well on the class Smartboards and it is colorful and has motion which holds the students attention. At the end of the lesson I had them draw and label a "little deal" and a "big deal." For the "little deal" they had to use an appropriate strategy from the lesson.  The teachers love the strategy "I'm in charge of me!"  The CD also comes with a printable poster set.  I gave each classroom teacher a poster after the lesson to refer back to when students forget that they are in charge of l\"little deals." This is definitely worth the purchase price.

I "Must Ask" You How To Solve Small Problems

This bulletin boards was the idea of our part-time counselor and executed by our outstanding parent volunteer. The kids are all in to mustaches, it has attracted a lot of attention.  It is clever and we even reused scraps from another project to make the colorful fringe at the top.