Recognizing and Understanding Feelings

For my first and second graders I frequently help them understand emotions with books, charts, and this simple chart of 3 types of feelings (pleasant, unpleasant, and neutral). They really like C. S. Snodgrass(2008) What's That Look on Your Face? I use the companion chart that does not have the labels to check to see if they can identify the feelings using the facial and body language cues. We can always add other words the the 3 Types of Feelings chart since it is laminated and therefore erasable.

Label and Express Emotions

I keep my "Mood Meter" on my easel to use when third and fourth graders come to my office and need help talking about their feelings. This tool is based on the RULER Approach to social, emotional, and academic learning developed by Yale. RULER stands for recognize, understand, label, express, and regulate emotions. (See http://therulerapproach.org/). I like how the meter shows feelings can be categorized as pleasant and unpleasant and by energy level. I add a neutral point in the middle because I want students to find their neutral feelings when faced with unexpected or difficult situations. I frequently let students write and describe the variety of feelings they have been experiencing since our last meeting and place them in the area they experience them. This is important because my meaning of guilt might be different than the client's meaning. I made this Mood Meter on poster board and laminated it. I keep a zip lock bag full of various colors and shaped sticky notes. For other uses for sticky notes and difficult emotions see the blog School Counseling by Heart.

Teaching Children to "Go to Neutral"

I teach children that feelings can be classified along a continuum from unpleasant (fear) to neutral (calm) to pleasant (love). Just like the saying, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything." "If you can't have a pleasant emotion, don't FEEL anything." In our society today there is a tendency to always want to be happy, of course that is not realistic. When we are faced with what we perceive as a difficult situation, we typically experience unpleasant feelings. I don't use the terms positive and negative with children because I want them to understand all feelings are okay. I am a very visual person so I use charts like the one pictured here to show the continuum to children. I also have good luck with some kids by having them put their hands out in front of themselves, palms facing, and moving their hands apart (up and down) for first a foot and then two feet. I explain that up a foot is pleasant and down a foot is unpleasant. Then we talk about the space in between being neutral. The good thing about using the hands is you always have them with you. I then teach them to make a positive statement (inside their head) that directs them when they face a difficult situation, "Relax, put your hand up, go to neutral, think pleasant thoughts."

Promoting Emotional Intelligence

EI is comprised of four inter-related mental abilities: 1) perception of emotion; 2) use of emotion to facilitate thought; 3) understanding of emotion; and 4) management of emotion. Yale has developed a school-based prevention program called the RULER Approach. It is designed to teach the entire learning community the RULER skills: recognizing, understanding, labeling, expressing, and regulating emotions. The program is described on the web site http://therulerapproach.org/ They have great tools that could be used by any counselor. I love their Mood Meter and Meta Moment. Check it out!

5 Prop Interventions: Creative Toolbox

Props are physical objects used to illustrate a concept or facilitate the counseling process. I believe counseling needs to be engaging to be effective. Counseling with props helps children make connections and sustains attention. My favorite props include: - a variety of sizes, shapes and colors of sticky notes The counselor or the client can write or draw key words or ideas and move them around on the table to make connections (Example: Antecedents, behavior, consequences) - small white board with a variety of colored special markers Again either the counselor or client can write or draw (Example: draw the friendship triangle and where conflicts are occurring with wavy lines - rocks (small, medium, large) When discussing a problem ask student is it small enough to carry around in your pocket all day and still function, medium you know its in your back pack but you can manage, and large we need to deal with it immediately because it is weighing you down - toy microphone- Great for role-playing assertiveness - rubber bands Shows if student is being pulled in 2 directions by peers - remote control or video game controller Student can say what they can do to pause, go faster, slow down, etc Try to incorporate props in your sessions and assess whether it has a powerful impact on clients.

Favorite Authors

My favorite authors of books I use for classroom lessons and small group counseling are: Howard Binkow, Nancy Carlson, Kevin Henkes, Helen Lester, and Trudy Ludwig. I also use most of Julia Cook's books. Bibliocounseling involves identification, surfacing of emotions (the catharsis, insight (thinking), and universalization. It is important to select a book to meet the goals and objectives you are trying to achieve in the lesson or session. The counselor needs to help the students see the link to the skill you want them to acquire. It is important to ask meaningful questions about the story to help the children with interpretation. That is one reason I like Ludwig's books because she provides the questions for discussion. Do you have a favorite author you use?

Its A Small World I just put up this bulletin board Try-Angle outside my office that I got from the book,Counseling On the Wall! from Marco. These bulletin board materials come on a CD and you just print, laminate, and follow the simple directions. I matted the triangles on black paper just to get them to pop a little but it was definitely the fastest board I have done. The author, Rosanne Sartori, is a "retired" counselor, educator, and storyteller. http://rosannesartori.com/index.html She contacted me today because it turns out two of her grandchildren attend my school and she is coming to Virginia for a visit. She was offering to do storytelling at our school when she visits. When I made the connection I had to send her this picture of "her" bulletin board in our school. We are hoping she can meet with the elementary counselors in our district while she is visiting as well.