Research on gender: Should we be doing single gender groups?

Why Gender Matters, Boys Adrift & Girls on the Edge, by Leonard Sax

This summer I read the 3 books written by Leonard Sax, the founder of the National Association for Single Sex Public Education.  I found each of the books to have some very important concepts for school counselors and I recommend they be read in the order they were written.  I especially value that they are based on research and that when new research is available he updates his books on his web page www.leonardsax.com

Just a few things I found important, first in Why Gender Matters he reviews the research showing that girls are born with more sensitive hearing than boys, and that the difference increases as children grow up. So if a male speaks to a girl in what he thinks is a normal voice, she may hear it as yelling.  When boys appear to be inattentive in class, they may need to be closer to their soft spoken female teacher. It also explains the brain research that explains why it is so hard for males to express feelings.

In Boys Adrift he explains that the main reasons for male disengagement in the real world is mainly due to 5 causes: 1) Video Games; 2)  Teaching Methods; 3)  Prescription Drugs; 4)  Endocrine Disruptors; and 5)  Devaluation of Masculinity

Finally, in Girls on the Edge he outlines four points that need to be addressed to combat problems facing many girls in our society: 1) sexual identity; 2) the cyberbubble; 3) obsessions; and 4) environmental toxins.

Overall, I recommend these books to teachers, counselors, and parents raising boys and girls in America today. He challenges the reader to consider holding many children out of kindergarten for a year, the value of sports, how to problem solve with girls vs. boys, and many other practical matters. In thinking about his research I am going to offer more single gender small groups this year.  For example, if I have a second grade boys social skills group I can select materials and activities that appeal to most boys and modify my own delivery to accommodate learning style.

A New School Year: School Counselor Helps Newbies

I love the beginning of the school year.  I especially enjoy seeing how the students I worked with the previous years have grown and developed.  I also appreciate catching up with returning colleagues. The counseling program needs to have a plan in place to support new staff, students, and parents.  I thought I’d share some of what we do at our school.

New Staff  We have over a dozen new staff every year so it takes time to simply get to know each person.  It is critical to establish a working relationship with all new classroom teachers whose classes we will be teaching. We provide teachers a one page description of the counseling program in their back to school packets and include more information in the staff handbook.  All our forms are available on Blackboard but it is sometimes useful to hand new teachers a hard copy (exp. Referral form) and let them know more are available online.  We want a collaborative relationship with the teachers so we need to take time to meet with them.  It is important to remember what new teachers fear most, typically classroom management and parent relationships.  We tell teachers we will assist in these areas in any way they need.  We try to minimize any paperwork we ask of teachers because that is an area that many new staff already feels is overwhelming.  We also want teachers to see us as experts and resources.  We do a training for all new staff in our schoolwide bullying prevention program during preservice week where we provide a healthy snack because this group frequently is so overwhelmed they don’t even take time to eat. We go back to coach them on the implementation of the bullying program during the first quarter. Some years we give new staff a small gift from the counselors. We also take their pictures.

New Students During the first week of school these children are our primary focus.  The first day of school we give them buttons to wear so all staff will know they are new and should introduce themselves to these children. During the first week, we host 3 sessions to welcome our new students in grades 1-5 (we generally do a session for grade 1, one for grades 2&3, and finally grades 4&5).  During these sessions (held in our beautiful courtyard weather permitting) we do an interview activity, share a healthy snack, play a trivia game about our school, read a book about being new, take their pictures, give them a “New Student Survival Bag”, and Passport.  The Passport contains pictures of staff in the school who work with all the children.  The new students are assigned a buddy who helps them find the people in the passport and ask them two questions and the responses get recorded.  They are given 2 weeks to do this activity and then they bring the completed passport to one of the counselors for a prize.  We follow-up with new students and have lunch with them one or two times during September.  During the first week we also go into every class to reintroduce ourselves to all the students and we always try to include the new students in that introductory lesson. Finally, we do a large bulletin board display to welcome our new staff and students that is displayed in the main hall during September. Many of our new students end up being in friendship groups that start in October.

New parents We make our program visible to new families at the Open House during pre-service week via an information table and just being available near our offices.  The first morning of school (right after drop-off) we co-host a Boo Hoo Breakfast for parents of kindergarten and any students new to our school.  We talk about the counseling program, adjustment  to a new school and school year, and a little about separation anxiety using a brief PowerPoint. We explain the resources and services we offer parents. Our PTA offers new families a buddy family to help them become part of our learning community.  We continue to outreach to new families at Back-to School Night and Fall Parent-Teacher Conferences.

New beginnings offer new challenges.  Because the counselors share part of the responsibility for school climate, it is important to help new staff, students, and parents feel welcome and begin to build relationships.  What good ideas do you have to assist the newbies?

Open House: School Counseling Program Public Relations

It is very easy to get caught up in setting up your office, meeting new staff, and planning lessons during preservice week; however, it is very important to take every opportunity to reach out to parents especially as the school year begins. I am fortunate to have an office on the main hall of my school so many parents walk right past my door.  Before the Open House begins the student service staff set up an information table.  We have our brochures, hints for parents about the start of the year, and the flyer for our kick-off Boo Hoo Breakfast. We also display some of our popular Family Resource Packs that parents can borrow on common topics. This year we will also be soliciting volunteers for our Career Café initiative in grade 5.
Finally, we display a few “tools of the trade” so families begin to see our role: a few colorful stress balls, college banners, "New Student Survival Kit", passport, and character education book marks that the students can take.  I don’t stay with the display because I usually end up giving directions and talking to families.  This year I am wearing my new “Counselor” t-shirt I purchased at the ASCA National Conference.  The goal is to make the counseling program visible and accessible to the entire learning community.

ASCA 2012 School Counseling Conference Brilliant

Well I am back from my relaxing summer at the beach.  I went from the last day of school, to Minneapolis for the ASCA Conference, to the Eastern Shore.  I did want to congratulate everyone who put together the Conference.  It was one of the best professional development experiences of my career.  The three general sessions were among the best I have ever attended.  If you missed the conference you can still read the books by these inspiring individuals: Dan Savage, Stacey Bess, and Jamie Vollmer.  My 3 favorite things about the conference were: 1) getting to hear Julia Cook read aloud some of her amazing books; 2) seeing two of my former graduate students achieve RAMP; and 3) the positive feedback I received from participants at my own session.  I hope you will try to attend the 2013 Conference in Philadelphia, I know I am planning to attend.

ASCA National Conference

I feel very fortunate to be going Saturday - Tuesday to the national conference in Minneapolis.  I look forward to learning from other school counselors to get new ideas for next year.  I will be presenting a session "Why Worry? Reducing Anxiety in Children."  If you read this Blog regularly you know this is a topic I have studied and deal with on a daily basis.  I will be sharing ideas specific to school counseling but for anyone wanting just general information about worrying I recommend the book

Rossman, M. (2010). The worry solution: Using breakthrough brain science to turn stress and anxiety into confidence and happiness.New York: NY: Crown Publishing Group.

Worrying

Today starts our final week in school for the year.  Yes we are still in school even though all other schools are out.  Amid the frenzy of closing out a school year, gathering up and reporting my program data, brainstorming goals for next year my personal email account was hacked on Friday.  I am now permanently locked out of the account and did not same a back copy of my contacts or print many important emails.  I also used that same password on many other sites so I spent the better part of my weekend changing passwords and trying to regain some of the lost information and contacts.  Let that be a wake up call.  Needless to say I needed to use all 10 of my favorite stress relievers. Maybe some of these are what you use or suggest to the students in your school.
1 Breathe slowly and deeply
2 Take a walk
3 Call a friend
4 Listen to music
5 Eat a healthy snack
6 Count my blessings
7 Gaze at my garden
8 Recite an affirmation (I can straighten this out)
9 Spend time with a family member
10Make a list of things to do on summer vacation

Helping Children Cope with Anxiety and Panic Attacks

On Friday I had a student brought to me by the mother, who needed support returning to school after a vacation.  The student was saying "I'm sick and need to go home." The child's class had to leave on a filed trip within a half hour of arrival.  Anxiety attacks are often chronic and the cause is sometimes not as clear as this one.  First, I separated mom and assured her I would support the child in getting ready for the trip and check to make sure this went smoothly.  I spoke to the student in a assuring but firm voice and reminded the child to use strategies we had discussed in prior counseling sessions.  I reminded the student of  the Anxiety Checklist we had developed that included slow breathing, counting breaths, thinking about a calm place, and affirmation (I am strong, I can do this.).  I told the student I'd be close by until things got better.  By the time the bus left the student was calm.  I then followed up with the mom who remained annoyed because she feels the student has more control than child can access under stress.  I was not sure I convinced mom that changes in schedules are stressors and we need to keep supporting the child as new strategies are learned.

The same morning I was tracked down in the building because another student was in crisis in the clinic.  When I arrived in the clinic the school nurse said the student had been extremely upset and had not regained control of emotions for over 15 minutes.  She said medically there was no concern, no asthma, and the mom had spoken to the child by phone and it had not gotten any better.  Since the child was already in a safe place (away from what probably was the stressor - an activity in the class), The child was displaying many signs of a panic attack, sudden onset of pounding heart, feeling of choking, chest pain, fear of loosing control, and sensation of shortness of breath. I began to talk to the student to give reassurance.  It took several attempts to to get the child to breath slower.  When I counted the lengths of the breaths. first 2 in and 2 out, then to 4, and finally 6 the child visibly started to relax.  Then I worked on distracting the anxious thoughts (student labeled as scared) by having the child list things  (members of a team).  I stayed with the student and then had the child do some stretching with counting to further reduce the level of anxiety.  Although most panic attacks will stop on their own after 15 minutes, this was the child's first major attack and it lasted about half an hour.  Then came the discussion of what to share and say to classmates; the child's explanation was my "brain exploded."  I urged the student to just reply to inquiries with "Thanks for asking, I am fine now."  I then had a long debrief with the mother.  She did not know children can have any type of anxiety issues.  I informed her what steps I had taken that worked in case the child has another episode at home. 

It was a busy morning and on days like Friday I have to remind myself to take time for self care...